A Supreme Court Justice on the Colbert Report

In honor of Supreme Court Justice (but not member of the Supremes [as was texted to me earlier]) Judge Sonia Sotomayor is on the Colbert Report so I will write something up. Hopefully it will be shorter than a court ruling.

Also she is on twitter? WHAT! Is this legit?

“Can Obama gain the support of gun owners? Yes, but after a four year waiting period.”

I think it will take a lot longer than that… maybe a decade?

“Fidel Castro made his first public appearance in 3 years, then he saw his shadow. 50 more years of communism!”

FUCK! Not again, does this mean 50 more years without his awesome cigars? I don’t know if I can deal with that.

“Now Ray Lewis has as many Super Bowl rings as murder indictments”

So many people said they thought of this joke first: they are wrong… EVERYBODY THOUGHT THIS! I am of the belief that Ray Lewis is a bad dude, self-absorbed and can’t get off my television fast enough. Great football player but his “explanation” of his involvement in murder left a horrible taste in my mouth.

“35 minutes without power, only two months short of New Orleans’ personal best”

I don’t even know what to say

“C’mon NFL don’t say you don’t have sponsors. I know most of my blackouts are sponsored by Captain Morgan.”

Mine are more sponsored by Everclear… but I respect the Captain (I try to salute before I drink it but when I get drunk I sometimes get demerits)

“Mexeclamation mark”

Does the upside-down exclamation mark have a name? If not I am completely OK with this.

“I’d like to thank Mexicans for voting Obama into a 2nd term… I’d say its a sobering thought but I havnt stopped drinking since… thank you Captain Morgan”

People treat sobering thoughts and actions as good things… I don’t think this is right.

“Yes, [immigrants] must get fingerprints & background checks — they’re trying to get citizenship, not buy assault weapons.”

Wow, biting sarcastic Colbert — I love it!

“What’s next? Treating gay people as people?”

Nah, that doesn’t sound right.

“Our gay men and women are not just homosexual, they are homoceptional!!”

Even Colbert believes we have the best gays ever! USA! USA! USA!

Commercial break

“If Obama really loved guns why would he use them safely?

I find this to be way to common. Seriously? This is really funny.

“He’s on the sound stage where they faked the Moon landing! This is deeper than we thought”

Conspiracy theories! OMG

Commercial break

Now we have a Supreme Court Justice!

“Ladies your Supreme Court Justice…”

Can we please introduce everyone like this. From the Bronx New York, weighing in at (murmors) well, it’s not polite to say … your Supreme Court Justice SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNIIIAAAA SOTO-MAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOR!

“So, you’re not supposed to enjoy yourself on the Supreme Court”

I feel like many justices take this point of view.

Colbert: “Why aren’t you a Republican if you believe in self-reliance?”
Sotomayor: “How do you know I’m not?”

Sotomayor is on her game!

Sotomayor: “I believe in the constitution”
Colbert: “Then I believe your not a Democrat”

Colbert strikes back! This was an amazing interview and I really hope Colbert can get more guests like this.

Now I saw a lot of tweets about Colbert breaking character, I don’t think this was a big deal and I don’t think he completely broke character.


~ by realfactsandbeer on February 5, 2013.

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